Monday, March 31, 2008
Gangsters Roll Up To My Table
We were almost closed down at the restaurant, tables are clean, food is put away, and the entire staff is nervously watching the clock waiting to leave.
We hear the door creak open and poof! By some sort of ghetto magic, two of the roughest looking dudes walk through the front door of our restaurant at the worst possible time. Cooks are throwing pots and pans, servers are drawing straws to see who stays late, and the manager has just disappeared into the office to surf the internet. And of course, I draw that shortest of short straws.
So after many recounts I finally decide to just man up and take on the table. "Y'all got some shweet tea?"
"Yes sir, we do and it is very fine tonight." I sarcastically reply.
"We gonna have some that, and two cheeseburgers." My new pain in the ass customer replies.
So I take the order, enter it in the kitchen, argue with the cook about cooking the food, then grab their drinks. I hate it when tables come into the restaurant right before close. I especially hate it, because it is never someone who wants to tip you fifty bucks and order an excellent meal with a bottle of wine. It is always some ghetto thugs and their friends who come in and order the cheapest crap on the menu. But, I am a professional, and I give the same service to everyone regardless of race, gender, creed, or time you walked into the restaurant. So I serve these guys with the same respect that I serve anyone.
After two recooks and lots of sweet tea refills, my late stay table is finally ready to pay and leave. Much to all of our pleasure they promptly thank me for my service and settle their bill. After the gentlemen have left the building I look down at my tip, I never check the payment until the guys are gone, If they short me I can chase them down still, but if the tip is bad they are not around to hear my profanity about them. Fifty dollars on a twenty dollar tab.
Wow
People never fail to surprise me in this industry. I can't possibly understand why people are racist. After my experience with serving people from many different countries and cultures, people of different religions and colors, I find no difference between anyone except for how they tip. I have had the dirtiest rednecks and the blackest thugs in my restaurant, and those are usually the better tips. Sure, I get stiffed from time to time, but that happens with everyone, not just a particular race of people. I do believe that racism from the restaurant stems from tip prejudice, black people are seen as bad tippers, when in fact just as many white people as blacks tend to be poor tippers, but the majority of my clientèle is white. So when a black table walks in, the odds are against you getting a good tip from them. Not because they are poor, just because you won't see as many of them, so when you do get those tables, your average tip is poor.
I hand it to most of my black tables though. Servers have this general rule about eating out, if you can't afford your food let alone the tip to pay for your service, then don't eat out. The reason why we see less blacks in our restaurant is probably because they wait until they can afford all of it, or my personal theory is that the black community still has strong family values and just tend to cook more rather than eat out. Same thing with my redneck tables, and Asian tables, and so on. I truly try to give better service to these tables, since my tip should be good, and they are truly looking for a dining experience, not just a quick meal that they didn't have to cook.
People still surprise me on a day to day basis though, you never really know what your next table will be or what will happen with them.
We hear the door creak open and poof! By some sort of ghetto magic, two of the roughest looking dudes walk through the front door of our restaurant at the worst possible time. Cooks are throwing pots and pans, servers are drawing straws to see who stays late, and the manager has just disappeared into the office to surf the internet. And of course, I draw that shortest of short straws.
So after many recounts I finally decide to just man up and take on the table. "Y'all got some shweet tea?"
"Yes sir, we do and it is very fine tonight." I sarcastically reply.
"We gonna have some that, and two cheeseburgers." My new pain in the ass customer replies.
So I take the order, enter it in the kitchen, argue with the cook about cooking the food, then grab their drinks. I hate it when tables come into the restaurant right before close. I especially hate it, because it is never someone who wants to tip you fifty bucks and order an excellent meal with a bottle of wine. It is always some ghetto thugs and their friends who come in and order the cheapest crap on the menu. But, I am a professional, and I give the same service to everyone regardless of race, gender, creed, or time you walked into the restaurant. So I serve these guys with the same respect that I serve anyone.
After two recooks and lots of sweet tea refills, my late stay table is finally ready to pay and leave. Much to all of our pleasure they promptly thank me for my service and settle their bill. After the gentlemen have left the building I look down at my tip, I never check the payment until the guys are gone, If they short me I can chase them down still, but if the tip is bad they are not around to hear my profanity about them. Fifty dollars on a twenty dollar tab.
Wow
People never fail to surprise me in this industry. I can't possibly understand why people are racist. After my experience with serving people from many different countries and cultures, people of different religions and colors, I find no difference between anyone except for how they tip. I have had the dirtiest rednecks and the blackest thugs in my restaurant, and those are usually the better tips. Sure, I get stiffed from time to time, but that happens with everyone, not just a particular race of people. I do believe that racism from the restaurant stems from tip prejudice, black people are seen as bad tippers, when in fact just as many white people as blacks tend to be poor tippers, but the majority of my clientèle is white. So when a black table walks in, the odds are against you getting a good tip from them. Not because they are poor, just because you won't see as many of them, so when you do get those tables, your average tip is poor.
I hand it to most of my black tables though. Servers have this general rule about eating out, if you can't afford your food let alone the tip to pay for your service, then don't eat out. The reason why we see less blacks in our restaurant is probably because they wait until they can afford all of it, or my personal theory is that the black community still has strong family values and just tend to cook more rather than eat out. Same thing with my redneck tables, and Asian tables, and so on. I truly try to give better service to these tables, since my tip should be good, and they are truly looking for a dining experience, not just a quick meal that they didn't have to cook.
People still surprise me on a day to day basis though, you never really know what your next table will be or what will happen with them.
Labels: blacks, food, restaurant, tables, tips
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Support the economy
Everyone says the economy is going into a recession. Well, then we all need to do our part to help bring it back up.
GO SPEND MONEY. We talked about this in my economics class, the more people spend, the more money business have, and the more jobs they can have. Its called the multiplier effect or something to that extent.
There is a trick to doing your part to bring our economy out of recession though, you must keep your money in the country. One problem with the multiplier theory, is that if the money is not kept within the economy, then the dollar still multiples, except it multiplies in a country other than ours. For instance if you buy something from wall-mart, it was more than likely made in China. Now the dollar you spent at wally world, has left our economy and multiplied in China. I know some economist will prove me wrong, but this is the basics of the theory.
So I have done my part to support the economy, I bought a new TV. I bought my TV from a local SMALL BUSINESS, and got quite a good deal on it. Now, I could have gone to any larger retailer, and probably would have gotten a better deal, but in order for my patriotism to feel satisfied, I had to buy from the small guy. Small business supports over 90% of jobs in our country, yet these business do not support 90% of the Gross Domestic Product. Small business is the workhorse of our economy, so it needs our support. If you buy from these overly large corporations, in the spirit of making even more profit, they will spend the money in smaller, less developed countries at a cheaper price.
You can vote for a president, and not see any real change. Same thing with senators and governors, etc. none of them can really change anything, your vote is of little value, yet still important. If you really want your vote to count, if you really love the freedoms we enjoy on a daily basis, and wish to someday hand a beautiful land with free people living on it down to your children on so on, then you must use the strongest vote that everyone has. Vote with your money.
Money, unfortunately, does make our world go round. Without it, America would not be the young leader that it is. So that means that every dollar you make, and spend, is a vote. Lately, our votes have been going to outsourcing, corrupt banking practices, and foreign made goods. We must support our own country and not everyone else's, buy American, support small business, and make sure you know where your dollar will go after it is out of your hands. The government is giving many people rebates within the next couple of months, so do the right thing and spend every dime they give back, and make sure that dollar stays American.
Sorry for the economics/civics lesson, I will have more restaurant stories coming Monday night.
GO SPEND MONEY. We talked about this in my economics class, the more people spend, the more money business have, and the more jobs they can have. Its called the multiplier effect or something to that extent.
There is a trick to doing your part to bring our economy out of recession though, you must keep your money in the country. One problem with the multiplier theory, is that if the money is not kept within the economy, then the dollar still multiples, except it multiplies in a country other than ours. For instance if you buy something from wall-mart, it was more than likely made in China. Now the dollar you spent at wally world, has left our economy and multiplied in China. I know some economist will prove me wrong, but this is the basics of the theory.
So I have done my part to support the economy, I bought a new TV. I bought my TV from a local SMALL BUSINESS, and got quite a good deal on it. Now, I could have gone to any larger retailer, and probably would have gotten a better deal, but in order for my patriotism to feel satisfied, I had to buy from the small guy. Small business supports over 90% of jobs in our country, yet these business do not support 90% of the Gross Domestic Product. Small business is the workhorse of our economy, so it needs our support. If you buy from these overly large corporations, in the spirit of making even more profit, they will spend the money in smaller, less developed countries at a cheaper price.
You can vote for a president, and not see any real change. Same thing with senators and governors, etc. none of them can really change anything, your vote is of little value, yet still important. If you really want your vote to count, if you really love the freedoms we enjoy on a daily basis, and wish to someday hand a beautiful land with free people living on it down to your children on so on, then you must use the strongest vote that everyone has. Vote with your money.
Money, unfortunately, does make our world go round. Without it, America would not be the young leader that it is. So that means that every dollar you make, and spend, is a vote. Lately, our votes have been going to outsourcing, corrupt banking practices, and foreign made goods. We must support our own country and not everyone else's, buy American, support small business, and make sure you know where your dollar will go after it is out of your hands. The government is giving many people rebates within the next couple of months, so do the right thing and spend every dime they give back, and make sure that dollar stays American.
Sorry for the economics/civics lesson, I will have more restaurant stories coming Monday night.
Labels: dollar, economy, good, government, money, vote, world
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Easy Come, Easy Go
Working in a restaurant, is kind of like working in another society. Restaurants have their own unwritten rules. For instance, if you get off work, then go back to work later and get a discount on your meal and you had someone serve you, then you leave the amount of the discount for the tip. Just one of those rules in most restaurants, like how sweet tea here in the south, is always the tea urn on the left. Just the way things are.
Restaurants also have roughly six different types of personalities that work in them. You always have the wanna be management type, the coolest guy in the world type, the overly stressed about nothing type, and so on. The six same types of people work in restaurants because these six people get along together, and they also don't get along well. Drama, as well as very fun parties, tend to happen when these six types of people mix and get along. This is what makes working in a restaurant fun.
Well yesterday a friend of mine quit/got fired. The managers say he was fired, and of course my friend says he told them where to shove it. Doesn't really matter how it happened, it was definitely mutual. So now our restaurant is down one of our six personalities, the laid back personality. My friend filled this spot in our restaurant very well, so well that we didn't even really need anymore of the laid back type. Oh well, a new batch of trainees will be in soon, with their little books, and shirts that just came out of the bag. Haha trainees. Maybe out of this batch of innocent youth, we will find one that can help us fill this newly created gap in the social atmosphere of our restaurant.
With the economy in a tough spot, and no chance of getting away from being broke, many servers are loosing hope. Hardly anyone can really remember the good ol days of plentiful money and endless parties. Now everyone is pushing forty hours a week just to make some money to put food on the table and keep the lights on. Stay in there, keep working hard and something good will come your way. You never know, maybe you can impress the next table you get so much that they would want to hire you. Easy come, easy go
Restaurants also have roughly six different types of personalities that work in them. You always have the wanna be management type, the coolest guy in the world type, the overly stressed about nothing type, and so on. The six same types of people work in restaurants because these six people get along together, and they also don't get along well. Drama, as well as very fun parties, tend to happen when these six types of people mix and get along. This is what makes working in a restaurant fun.
Well yesterday a friend of mine quit/got fired. The managers say he was fired, and of course my friend says he told them where to shove it. Doesn't really matter how it happened, it was definitely mutual. So now our restaurant is down one of our six personalities, the laid back personality. My friend filled this spot in our restaurant very well, so well that we didn't even really need anymore of the laid back type. Oh well, a new batch of trainees will be in soon, with their little books, and shirts that just came out of the bag. Haha trainees. Maybe out of this batch of innocent youth, we will find one that can help us fill this newly created gap in the social atmosphere of our restaurant.
With the economy in a tough spot, and no chance of getting away from being broke, many servers are loosing hope. Hardly anyone can really remember the good ol days of plentiful money and endless parties. Now everyone is pushing forty hours a week just to make some money to put food on the table and keep the lights on. Stay in there, keep working hard and something good will come your way. You never know, maybe you can impress the next table you get so much that they would want to hire you. Easy come, easy go
Labels: economy, friend, money, restaurant, serving
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Would You Like Some French Fries on That Salad?
100% true story.
It is a busy Friday night at the restaurant. Most of the sections are full and we are beginning to go on our usual wait. One of my co-workers get sat with a five top of the classiest people we have had in our restaurant that night. Ok, you got me, they were wearing overalls and asked if we had Bush beer. Anyway, as the story goes, my friend is taking the five top's order when something completely unexpected happens.
"And what may I get for you mam?" my friend asks.
"I would like the house salad with some fries." The redneck responds.
"Ok, one house salad and a side of fries." The server repeats back.
"Well, actually I want the fries on the salad." She responds
"What?" My now dumbfounded friend finally manages to say.
"Yea, just put the fries on the salad for me."
"Coming right up."
Now I have been serving in various restaurants for well almost three years now. In this time I have observed some strange eating habits of our species. Chicken pastas with no chicken, steaks with cheddar cheese added to them, and even the mushroom removed from our mushroom sandwich, which made the sandwich literally bread, cheese, lettuce and tomato. But never have I heard of adding french fries to salads.
Of course, our head cook decides to be funny when he sees the order walk in, and adds a side of ketchup to the salad instead of dressing. We all have a good laugh at this.
Now the salad has gone out to the table, and of course the lady asks for more ketchup, and proceeds to smother the salad with ketchup. Repeatedly.
Come on America. You ask why is everyone so fat, you ask why health care costs so much, and you ask why everyone seems to be sick all the time. That is your answer. Because dumb people like this one takes a perfectly health meal and destroys any nutritional value the salad might have had. This is your answer.
People in my restaurant get excited about fried appetizers with a side of grease added to it. Some people will eat enough food to feed at least a hundred starving Cambodians, and they will do it in one sitting. Then to top everything off, when I don't believe another morsel of food could possible fit into one person, you ask for desert and then gorge the thing like you have never ate before. This is why your fat.
Most restaurant actually offer healthy meal choices. Low carb, low calorie, and no trans fat menus are all over the place. You just have to make better choices. This is also why our government would rather finance a war than pay for our skyrocketing health care costs. They know that if health care was free, all these whales of Americas would be in their doctor's office the next day getting their much needed arteries unclogged so they can down another two meals at dinner.
I understand that some people have real problems with their weight. Maybe it is genetic, or something doesn't work the way it should, causing you to gain too much weight. But most of the over sized patrons of my restaurant do it to themselves. And I have no sympathy for that.
Oh yea, and diet coke really isn't going to help you all that much when you drink eight of them before I deliver your meal, get some water.
It is a busy Friday night at the restaurant. Most of the sections are full and we are beginning to go on our usual wait. One of my co-workers get sat with a five top of the classiest people we have had in our restaurant that night. Ok, you got me, they were wearing overalls and asked if we had Bush beer. Anyway, as the story goes, my friend is taking the five top's order when something completely unexpected happens.
"And what may I get for you mam?" my friend asks.
"I would like the house salad with some fries." The redneck responds.
"Ok, one house salad and a side of fries." The server repeats back.
"Well, actually I want the fries on the salad." She responds
"What?" My now dumbfounded friend finally manages to say.
"Yea, just put the fries on the salad for me."
"Coming right up."
Now I have been serving in various restaurants for well almost three years now. In this time I have observed some strange eating habits of our species. Chicken pastas with no chicken, steaks with cheddar cheese added to them, and even the mushroom removed from our mushroom sandwich, which made the sandwich literally bread, cheese, lettuce and tomato. But never have I heard of adding french fries to salads.
Of course, our head cook decides to be funny when he sees the order walk in, and adds a side of ketchup to the salad instead of dressing. We all have a good laugh at this.
Now the salad has gone out to the table, and of course the lady asks for more ketchup, and proceeds to smother the salad with ketchup. Repeatedly.
Come on America. You ask why is everyone so fat, you ask why health care costs so much, and you ask why everyone seems to be sick all the time. That is your answer. Because dumb people like this one takes a perfectly health meal and destroys any nutritional value the salad might have had. This is your answer.
People in my restaurant get excited about fried appetizers with a side of grease added to it. Some people will eat enough food to feed at least a hundred starving Cambodians, and they will do it in one sitting. Then to top everything off, when I don't believe another morsel of food could possible fit into one person, you ask for desert and then gorge the thing like you have never ate before. This is why your fat.
Most restaurant actually offer healthy meal choices. Low carb, low calorie, and no trans fat menus are all over the place. You just have to make better choices. This is also why our government would rather finance a war than pay for our skyrocketing health care costs. They know that if health care was free, all these whales of Americas would be in their doctor's office the next day getting their much needed arteries unclogged so they can down another two meals at dinner.
I understand that some people have real problems with their weight. Maybe it is genetic, or something doesn't work the way it should, causing you to gain too much weight. But most of the over sized patrons of my restaurant do it to themselves. And I have no sympathy for that.
Oh yea, and diet coke really isn't going to help you all that much when you drink eight of them before I deliver your meal, get some water.
Labels: food, health, politics, restaurnat, serving, weight
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Questions for the Easter Bunny
Now that I have a venue that can reach billions of people around the world, I have some very important questions I have been wanting to ask. No, I do not want to ask about peace or war, poverty or riches. I would much rather ask a few questions to the Easter Bunny himself/herself. I mean come on, if the Easter bunny is out there, then it must have internet.
Alright Rabbit, lets get down to the hard hitting questions.
Whats up with the eggs?
Don't you think its a little weird that you leave eggs all over the damn place on the day celebrating Jesus' resurrection? I mean they do have an expiration date.
What is your connection with the man himself? Does he just really like over sized rabbits, or is this symbolic in some way?
Why do I keep on getting peeps? I hate those things and if I get them next year, I am setting traps in my house so I can catch your ass and make you eat all the non biodegradable peeps you have given me all these years! Sicko
Thats all the questions I want answered for now, maybe later I will grill the tooth ferry on why all my friends got five bucks for a tooth and I got two dimes and a nickel. Cheap ass tooth ferry.
Alright Rabbit, lets get down to the hard hitting questions.
Whats up with the eggs?
Don't you think its a little weird that you leave eggs all over the damn place on the day celebrating Jesus' resurrection? I mean they do have an expiration date.
What is your connection with the man himself? Does he just really like over sized rabbits, or is this symbolic in some way?
Why do I keep on getting peeps? I hate those things and if I get them next year, I am setting traps in my house so I can catch your ass and make you eat all the non biodegradable peeps you have given me all these years! Sicko
Thats all the questions I want answered for now, maybe later I will grill the tooth ferry on why all my friends got five bucks for a tooth and I got two dimes and a nickel. Cheap ass tooth ferry.
Labels: bunny, easter, holiday, questions, rant
Friday, March 21, 2008
Good Friday at The Restaurant
Since when did Good Friday become so commercialized.
I guess when wall mart came about and Christmas started in October.
You would think they have commercialized every holiday they could. Christmas is now three months early, Thanksgiving has its days of crazed out shoppers all hoped up on star bucks and energy drinks, but Good Friday? Really?
Today, if you were into the hip social seen, then you know what I was talking about. Any good devote Christian gave up their meaningless sacrifices like french fries or fast food in general, to represent the sacrifice that Jesus went through millenniums ago. So today, everyone comes out in their designer fashions and overpriced luxury gas hogging vehicles, and runs off my good tipping regular Friday lunch crowd. Which directly affected me, because now I am working all day, running my rear end off, trying to appease the nine tables I have of angry wannabe high class snobs. Get over yourself people.
Lets get back to the real meaning of Good Friday. In short, Good Friday is a day that followers of Christian religions observe in remembrance of the suffering and pain that Jesus was put through for the sake of humanity. Jesus did not go down to the classiest restaurant that he could afford, spend two hours discussing politics and entertainment television, and then tip ten percent to his server. So why would any true believer of such a religion follow this form of worship?
Don't get me all wrong. I have no faith that I will claim I belong to. And I have absolutely nothing against the Christian church, some of their views I like, even live by. But if you truly followed your faith, would this not be a day that you went to your service, and spent the rest of the holiday worshiping and try to get a better understand of his sacrifice? Would you give up french fries for lent, or maybe something more old school like a vow of silence?
Don't let your faith be cheapened by clever advertising and gaining rank in your social class. Celebrate the way you should and let the rest of the world go F itself.
I guess when wall mart came about and Christmas started in October.
You would think they have commercialized every holiday they could. Christmas is now three months early, Thanksgiving has its days of crazed out shoppers all hoped up on star bucks and energy drinks, but Good Friday? Really?
Today, if you were into the hip social seen, then you know what I was talking about. Any good devote Christian gave up their meaningless sacrifices like french fries or fast food in general, to represent the sacrifice that Jesus went through millenniums ago. So today, everyone comes out in their designer fashions and overpriced luxury gas hogging vehicles, and runs off my good tipping regular Friday lunch crowd. Which directly affected me, because now I am working all day, running my rear end off, trying to appease the nine tables I have of angry wannabe high class snobs. Get over yourself people.
Lets get back to the real meaning of Good Friday. In short, Good Friday is a day that followers of Christian religions observe in remembrance of the suffering and pain that Jesus was put through for the sake of humanity. Jesus did not go down to the classiest restaurant that he could afford, spend two hours discussing politics and entertainment television, and then tip ten percent to his server. So why would any true believer of such a religion follow this form of worship?
Don't get me all wrong. I have no faith that I will claim I belong to. And I have absolutely nothing against the Christian church, some of their views I like, even live by. But if you truly followed your faith, would this not be a day that you went to your service, and spent the rest of the holiday worshiping and try to get a better understand of his sacrifice? Would you give up french fries for lent, or maybe something more old school like a vow of silence?
Don't let your faith be cheapened by clever advertising and gaining rank in your social class. Celebrate the way you should and let the rest of the world go F itself.
Labels: college, friday, good, restaurant
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Chinese Buffet
So I went to a Chinese buffet tonight, and was thoroughly disappointed.
What happened to the enormous pile of questionable food laid out in front of you. This buffet had no day old sushi, no ice cream machine that hasn't been cleaned out since it was bought, not even a Chinese person in the building. What the hell people? Chinese food is the staple of a college student's diet, it is right up there with beer.
All I asked for was to eat about six plates of unidentifiable meats and then top it off with some way too soft ice cream, and maybe some old jello for only seven bucks. This place cost me ten, and all the food was politely labeled so you could tell what you were eating. The deserts seemed fresh. Not one item on this buffet seemed like it would give me such bad gas, that my girlfriend would leave the room in disgust.
Come on Chinese buffet owners. Americans go to these places to get away from all the fancy health codes and carb friendly menus. We want our old Chinese buffet back. The one we went to as a kid after ball games, and as a result, anyone who went would not only be hungry in an hour, but also be on the toilet for another two days trying to get rid of the stuff.
Don't let advertising get the better of you, support the hole in wall Chinese place you are scared to go into because the people are always screaming about something. This is America, have some patriotism and give your money to the Chinese
What happened to the enormous pile of questionable food laid out in front of you. This buffet had no day old sushi, no ice cream machine that hasn't been cleaned out since it was bought, not even a Chinese person in the building. What the hell people? Chinese food is the staple of a college student's diet, it is right up there with beer.
All I asked for was to eat about six plates of unidentifiable meats and then top it off with some way too soft ice cream, and maybe some old jello for only seven bucks. This place cost me ten, and all the food was politely labeled so you could tell what you were eating. The deserts seemed fresh. Not one item on this buffet seemed like it would give me such bad gas, that my girlfriend would leave the room in disgust.
Come on Chinese buffet owners. Americans go to these places to get away from all the fancy health codes and carb friendly menus. We want our old Chinese buffet back. The one we went to as a kid after ball games, and as a result, anyone who went would not only be hungry in an hour, but also be on the toilet for another two days trying to get rid of the stuff.
Don't let advertising get the better of you, support the hole in wall Chinese place you are scared to go into because the people are always screaming about something. This is America, have some patriotism and give your money to the Chinese
Labels: america, buffet, chinese, college, school
Monday, March 17, 2008
Pepper?
Today was a nice day, and a few customers decide to sit on our patio this evening.
One of my tables that wanted to sit out there was an older couple, not elderly, just older. Anyway, as I bring the table his yuengling, and the lady her wine, I starting reciting the specials as I have done a hundred other times today. Then, out of no where the man picks up the pepper shake and starts putting pepper into his beer. Thats right, THE MAN PUT PEPPER IN HIS FREAKING BEER! I was speechless.
I walk away from the table and decide to regain my composure. As I watch the man through the window, he is drinking, and enjoying his strange beverage. Curiosity got he best of me, and I had to ask this man what the hell he was doing. So I walk back out to the patio and strike up a casual conversation with the table, then I drop the bomb.
"Sir, excuse my curiosity, but is there a reason you wanted to put pepper in your beer?"
The man smiles and says, "It taste good."
I chuckle politely and decide to poke him a little more, after serving tables for several years, you can pick up when your table is not being completely honest with you.
The man then goes on to explain that when he lived in the North, he frequented a certain pizza parlor that only served dark beers. Not being a fan of dark beer, the man got a recommendation for a good one and decided to try it. After the first sip, the man spit out the beer in disgust. Then he tells me, the man who was sitting next to him at the time simply told him to put pepper in it. Having already paid for a beer he didn't like, he figured what the hell. The man finished to pepper brew, and has been using this technique ever since.
"Only in darker full bodied beers though," the man warns me.
"Yes sir," I reply, "I don't like to drink anything else anyway."
I wish St. Patty's day was more often, Irish people are nuts!
One of my tables that wanted to sit out there was an older couple, not elderly, just older. Anyway, as I bring the table his yuengling, and the lady her wine, I starting reciting the specials as I have done a hundred other times today. Then, out of no where the man picks up the pepper shake and starts putting pepper into his beer. Thats right, THE MAN PUT PEPPER IN HIS FREAKING BEER! I was speechless.
I walk away from the table and decide to regain my composure. As I watch the man through the window, he is drinking, and enjoying his strange beverage. Curiosity got he best of me, and I had to ask this man what the hell he was doing. So I walk back out to the patio and strike up a casual conversation with the table, then I drop the bomb.
"Sir, excuse my curiosity, but is there a reason you wanted to put pepper in your beer?"
The man smiles and says, "It taste good."
I chuckle politely and decide to poke him a little more, after serving tables for several years, you can pick up when your table is not being completely honest with you.
The man then goes on to explain that when he lived in the North, he frequented a certain pizza parlor that only served dark beers. Not being a fan of dark beer, the man got a recommendation for a good one and decided to try it. After the first sip, the man spit out the beer in disgust. Then he tells me, the man who was sitting next to him at the time simply told him to put pepper in it. Having already paid for a beer he didn't like, he figured what the hell. The man finished to pepper brew, and has been using this technique ever since.
"Only in darker full bodied beers though," the man warns me.
"Yes sir," I reply, "I don't like to drink anything else anyway."
I wish St. Patty's day was more often, Irish people are nuts!
Labels: beer, Irish, pepper, restaurant, serving, St. Patty
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Lovely Sundays
So today is Sunday, usually a day that most servers despise, except for me. I NEVER work on Sundays. It is not a religious thing, it is not a moral thing, I just hate the Sunday crowd, and have gained enough respect from my management to never work that day. EVER!
So, in order to give a little back to my fellow servers, I hold a cookout almost every Sunday. Everyone brings beer, wine, or liquor, and whatever food they would like to have cooked. My girlfriend and I cook everything and everyone always has a good time.
There is one problem though. Sometimes when you invite dramatic people in mass over to your house, especially after a day of bad tippers and stupid complaints about nothing, drama will happen.
So everything is going well. This week I haven't burnt any of the food, and we are not even close to running out of beer, when the couple that is notorious for fighting in our restaurant start fighting, again.
"You're stupid!" She says
"No you are!" The boyfriend exclaims.
"How about you are both stupid and we can all get back to having a good time." Q exclaims (thats me by the way).
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because their faces turned red as beets, everyone got quite, and I could already tell our abundance of beer would quickly be evaporated.
What else do you say in that sort of nonsense situation other than just more nonsense?
Next time I will just finish my beer first, that should give me the ability to say something witty.
So, in order to give a little back to my fellow servers, I hold a cookout almost every Sunday. Everyone brings beer, wine, or liquor, and whatever food they would like to have cooked. My girlfriend and I cook everything and everyone always has a good time.
There is one problem though. Sometimes when you invite dramatic people in mass over to your house, especially after a day of bad tippers and stupid complaints about nothing, drama will happen.
So everything is going well. This week I haven't burnt any of the food, and we are not even close to running out of beer, when the couple that is notorious for fighting in our restaurant start fighting, again.
"You're stupid!" She says
"No you are!" The boyfriend exclaims.
"How about you are both stupid and we can all get back to having a good time." Q exclaims (thats me by the way).
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because their faces turned red as beets, everyone got quite, and I could already tell our abundance of beer would quickly be evaporated.
What else do you say in that sort of nonsense situation other than just more nonsense?
Next time I will just finish my beer first, that should give me the ability to say something witty.
Labels: cookout, fight, serving, sunday
Saturday, March 15, 2008
One bad Hostess
If I haven't mentioned it before, I work in a restaurant. Six days a week, for forty hours a week, I am inside of an upper class casual dining restaurant. I have worked there for over a year now, and have become the head server for the restaurant.
In my time at the restaurant, I have met and seen many people. Most people leave very quickly, some stick around and are good employees, and some of them we just can't get rid of.
So it is Friday night in the restaurant. The lights are still dimmed, servers are scattered around rolling silverware and cleaning tables. Millions of breadcrumbs have been swept up and only a few more left to find, when our evil hostess walks BACK in the door. This girl has snakes in her hair, and if you look her directly in the eyes, you become a very dull and boring person, so I am told. As she walks towards the door, the servers that are counting their money rush to the door to try and barricade it to keep her out. We all know what she wants, no one comes back to work after a long night for this reason, except for her. She wants a table, one that we have already cleaned, for herself and three other people who will be there in a few minutes. This is five minutes until close.
Well, she busts through the makeshift barricade we have put against the door. And as soon as she enters, a server friend of mine accidentally locked eyes with her, the personality was immediately taken from him. He is currently undergoing therapy to reverse the incident, he should be ok. So after blowing past the doors, she immediately seats herself at a clean table, demands for bread, and starts tearing at the bread like a wild animal. Then the rest of her gang joins her in middle of throwing breadcrumbs all over the restaurant, and they don't leave until an hour after close. Only a million more bread crumbs for me to clean up now.
Man I hope she gets fired today.
In my time at the restaurant, I have met and seen many people. Most people leave very quickly, some stick around and are good employees, and some of them we just can't get rid of.
So it is Friday night in the restaurant. The lights are still dimmed, servers are scattered around rolling silverware and cleaning tables. Millions of breadcrumbs have been swept up and only a few more left to find, when our evil hostess walks BACK in the door. This girl has snakes in her hair, and if you look her directly in the eyes, you become a very dull and boring person, so I am told. As she walks towards the door, the servers that are counting their money rush to the door to try and barricade it to keep her out. We all know what she wants, no one comes back to work after a long night for this reason, except for her. She wants a table, one that we have already cleaned, for herself and three other people who will be there in a few minutes. This is five minutes until close.
Well, she busts through the makeshift barricade we have put against the door. And as soon as she enters, a server friend of mine accidentally locked eyes with her, the personality was immediately taken from him. He is currently undergoing therapy to reverse the incident, he should be ok. So after blowing past the doors, she immediately seats herself at a clean table, demands for bread, and starts tearing at the bread like a wild animal. Then the rest of her gang joins her in middle of throwing breadcrumbs all over the restaurant, and they don't leave until an hour after close. Only a million more bread crumbs for me to clean up now.
Man I hope she gets fired today.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Are All History Professors This Bad?
Its the first beautiful day of the year. The sun is shinning happily down, with a slight warm breeze coming from the south, and I am stuck in this three hour class. The walls are white, the fluorescent lightning is making everyone seem ghostly, and my teacher has completely lost everybody in the class on what is going on.
"Alright class, today we will cover the Great Depression through WWII." My under enthusiastic professor exclaims. I believe even he, the man who devoted his life to the better half of American history, is ready to take a leap from our second story window. The guy next to me just started drooling on his overpriced and underused textbook. This is only fifteen minutes after class has started.
Now last semester I had an amazing history professor. I might have had the man's babies if that were possible, I mean this guy made the most boring subject seem like prime time television. You would walk out of his class and have an entire new understanding on your own culture and heritage. This class was amazing, he could have charged admissions to it.
Of course, as my luck goes, I can see the sun fading away as well as half of my classmates. A few people have walked out, someone in the back has started surfing the net for anything more interesting. And I decide to close my eyes and catch up on the sleep I missed by partying the night before.
Its history people, I can read about it later.
"Alright class, today we will cover the Great Depression through WWII." My under enthusiastic professor exclaims. I believe even he, the man who devoted his life to the better half of American history, is ready to take a leap from our second story window. The guy next to me just started drooling on his overpriced and underused textbook. This is only fifteen minutes after class has started.
Now last semester I had an amazing history professor. I might have had the man's babies if that were possible, I mean this guy made the most boring subject seem like prime time television. You would walk out of his class and have an entire new understanding on your own culture and heritage. This class was amazing, he could have charged admissions to it.
Of course, as my luck goes, I can see the sun fading away as well as half of my classmates. A few people have walked out, someone in the back has started surfing the net for anything more interesting. And I decide to close my eyes and catch up on the sleep I missed by partying the night before.
Its history people, I can read about it later.
Labels: boring, college, history, profressor, school
Welcome to the New Blog
Hi to all my future readers.
This is my first post and just thought for the few people who do get to view my blog, thank you. Thank you for reading my bad grammar and atrocious spelling. Hopefully both of these will improve over time, but in the meantime, sit back with your favorite drink and enjoy the readings.
This is my first post and just thought for the few people who do get to view my blog, thank you. Thank you for reading my bad grammar and atrocious spelling. Hopefully both of these will improve over time, but in the meantime, sit back with your favorite drink and enjoy the readings.
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